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Even though cancer is a physical disease, an important task for anyone diagnosed with cancer is to acknowledge its emotional challenge and to find ways to normalize and make sense of one's inner and outer worlds

In their book, Taking Charge, psychiatric social worker Irene Pollin and health writer Susan Golant identify some fears shared by those who face a serious illness. We asked cancer survivors who volunteer for our support groups and programs to suggest ways to overcome these fears. Fear of loss of control. What if I'm not in charge anymore? Today, people with cancer are presented with many choices on the types of surgery and follow-up treatment available. The proactive patient will find many opportunities to be in charge of her own healing process. Fear of dependency. If I become too sick to take care of myself, how can I avoid being a burden to others? Many support groups, home care and hospice resources are available -- not only for people experiencing cancer, but for their caregivers as well. Fear of loss of self-image. Who will love the weak person I've become? It might help you to keep in mind that cancer is a physical disease. A healthy self-image can be nourished and sustained only by you. Fear of stigma. Will others avoid me? How do I deal with my friends, family and colleagues, some of whom are in denial? Fear of abandonment. Will my loved ones leave me? Your gifts to others -- your caregiving, for example -- may not stay the same after experiencing cancer. But different gifts to others may emerge. Watch for them! Fear of expressing anger. What if my rage drives others away? Anger that moves into violent or abusive behavior towards others is unhealthy in any situation. Rage against cancer may channel your activities into healthful and healing behaviors, such as working to put an end to the sale and use of carcinogenic chemicals. Fear of death. What if I should die? Perhaps this is the universal fear among human beings. It's impossible to avoid death. Focusing only on what to do to avoid death will rob a person of a meaningful life. Fear of asking for help. How can I get the help I need and want? Check out "Ways I can ask for help."

 
Why me? What did I do wrong? Did you ever seek answers to these unanswerable questions? Cancer isn't you. It's a disease that happened to you. It's not a death sentence, but a reminder that we're all mortal. It can help us realize that life is precious and we must live it fully. No matter how we try, we can't delay our mortality. But to allow cancer to rob us of our passion and zest for life can be a tragedy.

Is there a cancer personality? Many people think that stress, depression or something in their personality caused cancer. In her book, Diagnosis: Cancer, Wendy Schlessel Harpham, MD, says some people think there are personality types more likely to get cancer. But there is no rigorous, scientific study to support that. "Your personality did not cause your cancer. Before the organism that causes tuberculosis was discovered, people hypothesized about a 'tuberculosis personality,' " she said. In another study in 1998 on breast cancer, the University of Illinois and Rosewell Park Cancer Institute found no substantial link between breast cancer and depression, introversion, inability to express anger or a non-supportive family during childhood.

Ideas for handling fears

Seek meaning and purpose. In trying to make sense out of the chaos he faced in a concentration camp, Victor Frankl wrote about his experiences in his book, Man's Search for Meaning. He found that people who find meaning in their lives tend to be stronger survivors.

Write, meditate, sing, paint, draw, sculpt, dance, do yoga, move, drum. It may be possible to sort out your thoughts about the meaning of your own life by getting in touch with your creativity. Buy a notebook to do journal writing. Put your thoughts to poetry or music. Recognize your innermost feelings (grief, fear, joy, loss, anger, peace, spiritual growth) with physical movement, like dance or drumming. Observe and record descriptions of your day or things that people you met said and did.

Talk with others. Some psychologists and psychiatrists specialize in working with cancer survivors. If you are having sleep disorders or anxiety, a psychiatrist can prescribe appropriate medications. Some counselors are trained in hypnosis and relaxation techniques to help you manage stress. Support groups, friends, your minister, rabbi or spiritual guide are there to help. Research has found that cancer patients involved in support groups lived longer than those who weren't.